A Beautiful Truth: Becoming Grateful for my Pain

It’s another beautiful Sunday! We survived the election, and life is good! It’s almost time for the holidays, which may or may not be your jam. If they’re not, check out my previous post for some tips on getting through the holiday blues.

Gratitude for this week

This week I was proud of myself because… I asked for help. My blog, plus several other activities and projects were getting to be more than I could chew. My coach/mentor asked what I needed help with the most. Instead of saying, “It’s okay, I got it,” like I usually would, I responded, “Time!”

She helped me learn some new time management skills that definitely took me out of the feeling that I was in a frying pan and headed into the fire. I can’t even begin to explain how grateful I am for her.

Something about this week I’ll always want to remember was the Atlas 5 Rocket launch! My buddy Davin and I were eating breakfast and happened to see spacesuits on the TV in the restaurant. Some quick Googling told us that there would be a launch that afternoon. We both immediately were like, “ROAD TRIP!!!”

It was the coolest thing ever. The Cape Canaveral area is so cute, from what I could see. Everybody there had child-like glee at the initial explosion. It was the cutest thing ever to see kids and adults alike cheering, jumping up and down, and yelling, “WOW!”

It was one of those moments that make you fall in love with humanity all over again. And it was on Friday the 13th. Imagine that.

Someone I was thankful for this week… was Davin. Here’s a little-known fact. I accidentally deleted most of my blog’s posts and images last summer. I couldn’t recover them, and I almost quit blogging because I couldn’t figure out how to restore them. I had briefly mentioned it to him and being the doll he is… he found a way to get an overwhelming majority of them back. When he restored my posts, I decided to invest more in the blog with coaching, and well… here, we are today. Just amazing how things work out the way they do. If I hadn’t continued blogging, I honestly don’t know what my life would look like right now.

I am also thankful for my pre-date squad. I have a trio of friends that sign off on the outfit, where we’re going, and gas me up with confidence. They are killing it for me, so I show up to my dates ready to wow. I can’t thank you guys enough!

Affirmations

The last post’s affirmation was:
I release excess worry.

I got a little overextended during the last two weeks. Trying to juggle this blog and regular life and throwing dating on top of that… whew! But I made sure to practice self-care and go for walks and appreciate nature and wildlife in my neighborhood. Had I been trying to do all of this last year or earlier in my life would have resulted in a shutdown in my head.

Being ambitious has never been a problem in my life… it’s the follow-through that gets me when I try to wear too many hats at once. Adding meditation, gratitude, and even just appreciating where I am in my hustle instead of just waiting to celebrate when I reach my goals/finish line are out of this world helpful. Remembering to enjoy the journey instead of just gunning for the destination has really turned my life around.

This week, I just want to celebrate gratitude itself with the affirmation:
I am grateful for every gift that I receive.

I’ve gotten some beautiful gifts in some extremely painful wrapping. I realize that now, and it’s changed my perspective. From being dumped without warning to understanding why it happened to hospitalizations and the connections I made plus learning how to cope.

Never in a million years would I believe that one day I would look around and say, “I’m glad that the person that I loved and trusted most in the world hurt me to the point that I lost everything and hit rock bottom.” 

Everything I believed in, every bit of reassurance I gave myself, every thought that I had my happily ever after and that I’d never be scared or harmed again came crashing down in an instant. I had to go back to living with an abuser, didn’t have transportation after my car accident, and lost every bit of independence and sense-of-self that I had. My entire life fell apart.

And I am grateful for it.

Had that not happened, I wouldn’t be the woman that I am now. I wouldn’t have this business, my support network, my peers online, and more.

After mentioning that I felt gratitude toward my traumatic heartbreak, a friend of mine had replied, “You’re getting your revenge by living your best life.”

But I disagreed with her. I’m not getting revenge, because I’m at such a place of happiness and self-love that I don’t want or need to think in terms of revenge. I don’t care what happens to the people that hurt me in the past, because I’m focused on growing and helping others. It takes effort to wish negativity on someone versus not thinking of them at all. That’s just another way I know I’ve healed. Everything I’ve chosen to do is a reflection of who I am as a person.

I do wonder what it’s like to be the person that intentionally destroyed another… and caused the broken heart that lead to a rebirth. Watching that “broken” person put themselves back together to become bigger and better than they ever dreamed because of your fuck up… that’s gotta suck. And knowing that there’s no way on earth to get them back in your life because they’ve surrounded themselves with better people and outgrown you. And all you can do is watch from afar and never know what it is to share in that joy or love…. I imagine that can’t feel good at all. Everything that they’ve chosen to do reflects on who they are as a person. I imagine looking at yourself in the mirror is not easy.

But that’s not my lesson to learn or burden to bear. All I have to focus on is the future while bringing the lessons of the past with me. I am grateful for my lessons, and I am grateful for my life.

So many of the women I have met that have mentored and encouraged me when through a traumatic situation like mine, only to have a new dream fulfilled and a better life and a smile on their face because of what they’ve overcome. In a few months, that will also be me, and I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it. I have to pinch myself each day that I wake up as this newly confident, happy, and inspired woman. And it only motivates me to want to keep improving and keep pushing to see how truly great I can become.

But what I’m most grateful for is the fact that I’ll become a mentor to another young woman that is in my shoes from a year ago. I’ll be able to reach her, ignite that same fire in her heart, and see her be reborn, as well. That’s what gives me goosebumps and the most joy of all. Knowing that I can share my gift of light with others is inspiring and beautiful. I’m so ready to start!

Journal Prompts

You know it isn’t a Sunday blog post if I don’t add some journal prompts. These are gratitude themed, of course.

Name something that helps motivate you to keep going. What is it and why does it push you?

What difficult lesson changed your life? How do you apply what you learned from that lesson to your life today?

What was a time that you needed encouragement and got it? Who gave it to you and what did that say?

If you’d like to check out my printable and fillable gratitude journal, it’s in my shop. The physical spiral notebook copies will be available soon. I’ll keep you updated! Also, keep out an eye for my Tuesday newsletter. By joining you get coupon codes and find out about the new projects that are coming this year.