Happy Sunday everyone! This week has been an emotional roller coaster but in a good way, in the best way. My life changed, and it’s been something else. My energy is different. My aura has to be like… pink and sparkly right now… I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel pink. I don’t feel like who I was before, and it feels amazing. I’m a new person!
Also, wanted to leave a note! My 30-day breakup recovery journal is on sale for the next week! Need to rebuild yourself and bounce back? Take a chance on yourself, and get your life back.
Let’s work on some gratitude for the week.
Something I good I saw someone do this week was my mom bring my neighbor a full bouquet of roses to brighten her day. My neighbor had a coworker come down with the virus and had to quarantine herself. This is the neighbor that had her husband help me with my snake fiasco, then took me to the grocery store two weeks ago. My mom was all pumped to spend some time with my neighbor until she found out, so she brought flowers instead. It was a sweet gesture.
This week was special because I went on a date and had a good time! I am finally back out there, and it was fun! I don’t’ want to spill too many beans, so another special thing was that I made a new friend! We connected over Instagram and then spent 2 hours on the phone. It was so crazy to meet someone that I had so much in common with, just because she had found my blog. Having an instant connection with someone is so rare, and now we are each other’s accountability buddies. Thanks, Internet, for doing what I imagined you would do when I was little: connect people with like experiences that change each other’s lives for the better.
This week I was proud of myself, because I formed a new healthy habit, and I didn’t even realize it. I used to get super bummed because no one ever bought me flowers. This is both while single and in relationships. I love flowers (obviously, look at my Instagram), and sunflowers are up there in my favorites. They are actually a key object in my novel, The Girl in the Mural. But yesterday, I went to the grocery store and didn’t even think about it. I bought myself some flowers, like I have pretty much every week prior. I made a habit and chose to do something for myself instead of waiting for someone else to do it for me. All this practicing self-care, self-love, and self-compassion are making such a difference in my life. It’s amazing that replacing a negative thought or doing something nice for myself is a no-brainer. It happens without any effort.
Last Week’s Affirmation
Last week, I chose the affirmation: The past has no power over me.
Then I wrote a letter to my trauma anniversaries. Taking the time to confront my pain and experience it was difficult. All the anger, confusion, guilt, shame, and sadness came up once again. The difference was that this time, I didn’t push any of them down. I chose to let them come out and be there. I let the memories and emotions come up. Everything that I used to fight was just there with me, and eventually, they passed. The most amazing and simple thing happened afterward. I was okay. That’s it. I was okay. I didn’t die or harm myself once all the emotions had their time in the sun and passed. I took a deep breath and went back to writing.
This exact thing happened in one of my favorite anime’s Avatar: The Legend of Korra. It’s on Netflix, and you have to check it out. The main character Korra gets traumatized, and has to confront the fear, the antagonist, and herself in one episode. My eyes were streaming tears during this episode when I first saw it in 2016. It still had the same impact when I watched it again in August of this year. Legend of Korra is a kids’ show, but it handles themes of trauma, loyalty, despair, letting go, and learning to accept help.
Oh also, affirmation-wise, so I don’t forget. I typically put them on sticky notes and put them in places that I frequent. There’s one on the bathroom mirror, one on the refrigerator, one on the microwave, one on my closet door, and I make the phone lock screens. I’ll stick one in this blog post so you can have it, too.
This Week’s Affirmation
For this week, I choose the affirmation: I am becoming the best version of myself.
I am! I really feel it, too. I don’t know what it is, but my energy is different, like I said before. Yesterday, when I went to the grocery store, I wore my mask as usual. Typically, I’m in and out with the few things I want to buy. I’m not much of a browser and absolutely dread shopping with anyone who is. I’m told I shop like a man. Hey, it cuts down on spending too much and saves on time. Except Target… I could live in a Target and spend every last dime there.
Anyway, I go to get my veggie trays and my acai oat bowls, and people kept saying hi to me and wanting to exchange other pleasantries. It was nice! I have a really big smile, and it makes other people smile and stop to chat, but since we started masking up, it’s been covered. My little random smile encounters have dried up. Yesterday, though… I don’t know how to explain it other than I was smiling with my heart. It was like my energy was smiling for me. It was then that I realized how much I missed my little smile encounters. They add a little bit of positivity in my day, and I forgot how impactful they were.
I am becoming the woman that I dreamed I could be. Ordinarily, I would be scared. True change is incredibly frightening. This week, I realized that I had created an identity out of all of my trauma. I was a sum of all the bad things that had happened to me. Now I’m not. I’m someone that is on her way to living her dream life. Imagine that.
Let’s add some journal prompts about becoming who you want to be.
How can you feel more fulfilled in your life?
What limiting beliefs are holding you back from your dream life?
What do you need more of in your life? And less of?
I hope that you have a great week ahead! Don’t forget to join my newsletter and get sneak peaks of my newest project! I’m sure you’re going to love it.