This may seem like an odd subject, but it’s truly something I had to work on this past year. I was not accustomed to being happy. And not just any kind of happiness, but the happiness that comes from fulfilment from within. I didn’t know that was a thing. As you know, I’ve battled several mental illnesses over the years, and it’s felt exactly like that. Like there was a war that I had no say in going on inside my mind and body for years. When I looked at happy people, I assumed they were like me. Just smiling to hide the immense pain they felt on a nearly 24-hour constant loop. Even ...
happiness
Finding Closure: What I Learned From Loving an Avoidant Man
It’s been exactly a year since I began my healing journey. It's been a long ride with lots of twists, turns, and growth, and guess what? I am excited to introduce you to the final pages of the Traumatic Breakup chapter of my story! I can write this from a place of forgiveness and acceptance because I was able to truly move on. The traumatic aspect of the breakup At the end of our relationship, I blamed myself. I have an incredibly big heart, and I gave every ounce of love, respect, and kindness I had to my ex. If you’d read my journals through those three years, even if I was mad at him, ...
How I Came to Appreciate My Blessings in Disguise
Last year, I was considerably hurt, confused, and depressed when my ex-fiancé decided to dump me without warning. I couldn’t figure out what went wrong. In my eyes, our relationship was great. I was doing everything I could do have a solid and healthy relationship, but life did what it normally does. It threw a curve ball and had me on a plane 4 days later to Orlando, leaving the house I made into a home, most of my clothes and shoes, books, and everything important to me. I couldn’t understand it. If I had done nothing wrong, why was I ushered out of a happy life that I had worked so hard ...
It’s been a year since my trauma
I wrote an open letter to my trauma anniversaries. I’ve done a lot of growing and inner work in the last year. Thankfully, I am a better and stronger person now. To my trauma anniversaries, Each month of every year, I am paralyzed by you. The anniversaries have stacked up quite a bit over the last thirty years. Every few weeks, a new anniversary creeps from its hiding place in my mind, down my central nervous system, and has life breathed into it again. Many times, I don’t know what it is that has me anxious, angry, and depressed until I look at a calendar. When I put two and two ...
The best affirmation for this week
It is already Sunday! You know what that means. Affirmations and journal prompts. Let’s get started. My last affirmation was “I am in charge of how I feel; today, I am choosing to trust”. It was the perfect affirmation for the time. Easing into trusting again is like easing into a bath that is a few degrees too hot. I had to get in one inch at a time. But letting myself trust my own judgment, as well as others that have come into my life recently, has been so rewarding. I feel more open and loving toward everyone in my life now, and less hesitant to speak my mind or make a choice. It’s so ...
A New Month of Gratitude
It’s September, look at that! Remember when March took two months to pass? The rest of the year sprinted by to make up for it, I guess. It’s only a few months until a new year starts. I think we’re all ready and waiting for that. My affirmation from last Sunday, I accept and release everything in my life that is beyond my power to change, ran through my mind many times. I released a Breakup Journal and went to a wedding. I honestly don’t think I would have been capable of either thing had I not let go of the almost unending waves of pain and sadness that followed my ended engagement. It ...
